Saturday, September 13, 2008

Behind My Neverland There's This Girl

I've always been viewed as the good journal keeper... well I've never really been one. My journals are all filled with poems and pros, a few drawings here and there, and songs I want to buy. So this will be my real journal I guess...
But here's something I wrote a while back that explains this blogs name and maybe me a little:
My Neverland
Did he name it neverland because even though to him it was real and for that moment when people saw it in his play it was real to them, he knew that it could never exist, it was a never land, never real, and imagination, a place to escape to in his mind, but then don't we all have a neverland with maybe even a neverlife, not a fairytail life but a neverlife, the one you can imagine and at certain times believe in its existance even though it really never was there, my neverland is filled with many beautiful things, the entrance is through a wooden gate, covered by ivy and clovers, and when i turn the handle i enter into my neverland and my neverlife, there i can sail the seven seas with the glorious pirate queen, Grace O'Malley, i can dive off and climb the ocean waves on the path given to me by the moon and as i climb the mood grows closer and i'm able to live upon it with the man in the moon as we count and wish upon the stars, i taste the sweet sugars that falling stars leave behind them as their tail while they race through the air, but when i tire of the sugars and stars i ride down from the constalation view point upon a slow falling star, when i reach the earth's beautiful ground again i call to my white stag and we race with the unicorns and centars, the purple breeze playing with my golden hair, braiding it with lilacs and roses, as it splashes me with mists of fair lilly scents, my stag always wins and he lets me off slowly as he watches me run to the faires and the mermaids who promise to show me their worlds if i can tell them the stories of mine, the mermaids give me pearls and shells which i wear as my necklaces and earings and the faires give me soft geathers and fine spider webs so i can sew together a beatiful dress, we laugh, dance, and sing, then i bid them farewell and promise to bring stories from my world to them, then i approach the beautiful snow white stag who is my companion and friend, who's beautiful eyes watch me like a loving father over a young child, i hug him tight around his neck and he nuzzles his nose in my hair, he takes me through beautiful gardens filled with roses, lillies, lilacs, pansies, and baby's-breath, we pass a white bench that sits beside a blue weeping willow then we reach a gate, the one i secretly long for even as i feel a deep pain of dread, beyond that gate lies my real world, my realland, my reallife, but it my family, friends, and my love, i take the handle and ease the door to reality open, i turn around and whisper goodbye and that i'll return soon, my stag watches me leave and in my heart i feel him whisper goodbye and that he loves me too, i then turn back and step into my realland, to know that in my sleep i might dream about my neverland...
--gabrielle jean murphy july 16, 2008

So that's the flow of how my mind thinks... but this blog is to show more my realland than my neverland even though I'm lost in neverland sometimes...